My church is having a yard sale and the lady who has recently starting coming volunteered to get it organized.
She has been cleaning a church member’s home for over six years. As far as this church member knows nothing has gone missing from her home.
Now, since this person is organizing the yard sale there are things brought to be sold that have disappeared.
Someone accidentally donated an original Cabbage Patch kid of their daughter’s and now wanted it back. It is nowhere to be found.
I donated several items and two of those are missing. There are a lot of designer items donated by another member that are no longer there. This person was asked by the lady she cleans for as well as by me about some items and has no answer for us except they must be somewhere.
In our hearts we feel she has taken these.
The sad thing is, we would have given her anything free if she had only asked someone. If she had stolen anything, church is where she needs to be. So we do not intend to question her any further. We would just like to know why steal items from an upcoming yard sale when we would have given her if she had asked and never taken anything from the woman she cleans for.
Can you please help us understand this? My friend/church member is bipolar and this ordeal has caused her a downhill spiral. She will be talking with her psychiatrist.
Thank you and blessings.
Hello and thank you for your question.
I am really sorry to hear that some items have gone missing for your Church sale. Although I note that your question was to help to understand a friend’s behaviour.
I hope you don’t mind, but I have to point out, that as far as I can glean from your email, there is no proof that the woman did steal anything. In fact, she has worked for another church member for six years and nothing has gone missing from her home, therefore, would this not suggest that she is trustworthy?
I think the part to hang on to is what you said ” you would have given her anything freely if she had asked.” Let’s suppose she did take the things, without asking. Although, yes indeed this is wrong, we have to look at ‘intent.’ Would there have been any bad intent in taking things without asking? I am guessing not, sometimes, we struggle.
Rather than wanting to understand why she did this, (if indeed she did), I would be thinking more along the lines of, ‘what can I do to help this person?’
I am afraid my answer is rather short, but I am not really able to help you understand why someone stole things, when there is no proof that she stole anything. All I could glean from your email is that she has been cleaning someone’s home for six years and has never stolen anything from there, so maybe give the benefit of the doubt?
Hope this helps,