Anger is an emotion and a useful one at that when expressed appropriately. Experiencing anger does not mean you have a mental health problem, although anger may be an issue for those who struggle with, for example, ADHD.
Anger is only considered a problem if you express the emotion in ways that is harmful to yourself or others. For example, if you cannot express your feelings without shouting or swearing at the other person or feeling so angry, you lash out and get physically violent. These types of expressions of anger suggest you have a problem with anger.
When anger becomes a problem, it is often characterized by specific physical and emotional symptoms. These symptoms can be more frequent and severe than they would otherwise be and can interfere with your daily life.
Some of the most common symptoms of anger include: feeling out of control, using physical force or aggression, having difficulty stopping negative thoughts, experiencing guilt or feeling overwhelmed, and exhibiting signs such as facial expressions or body language.
The causes for anger can vary widely from social factors like bullying or stress to psychological factors such as depression or trauma. Regardless of the cause, it is essential to seek help if you are struggling with this issue.
Retrain Your Brain® Anger Management
Dr Ryan’s online self-help course for anger
Inward anger is when a person directs their anger towards themselves.
Outward anger is when a person expresses their anger or frustration outwardly, for example, through shouting, swearing or lashing out.
Passive-aggressive anger is where the person may not state they are angry or last out. Instead, they might use cutting remarks and sarcasm or stop speaking to the offended person.
What to do if you think you have a problem with anger.
Explore what’s really behind your anger
When you’re angry, asking yourself why can be helpful. Often, anger is a sign that other feelings are hiding underneath. Maybe you’re anxious or scared or feel like someone has threatened you. Exploring what’s happening is essential because understanding your emotions can help you manage them better.
Learn practical strategies for managing anger outbursts constructively
It’s also worth noting that anger can sometimes be caused by things we learned as children. For example, if we grew up in a household where people always fought and yelled at each other, we might learn to associate anger with power and control. If this is the case for you, it will take some extra effort to manage your anger effectively.
Get to know your anger warning signs.
When you know your body’s warning signs, you can anticipate when anger is starting to take over. This will help you to manage the situation better. Some common signs that indicate that anger is beginning to flare up are feeling anxious, tense, or short of breath. If you start feeling these things, stop and breathe.
There are breathing exercises at the bottom of this page that you are welcome to try.
If you’re worried that your anger might get out of control, ask yourself whether it’s hurting your quality of life. Are you struggling to keep your relationships healthy? Do you feel like you’re constantly stressed out? Are there situations in which you just can’t seem to control your temper? If the answer is yes, you might need to work on feeling and expressing anger in a way that is less damaging to you.
Anger management is all about minimizing the negative consequences that often come with uncontrolled anger. It also means dealing with intense emotions without hurting yourself or other people.
Getting help.
Start by reading this page which explains everything you need to know about the emotion of anger. Sometimes just breaking the emotion down into its various parts can help.
If you think you need professional help, you will probably be referred to a therapist for cognitive behavioural therapy. CBT techniques can help manage the symptoms of problematic anger, learn more about CBT for Managing Anger.
DBT focuses on practical strategies to regulate emotions and address anger issues, learn more about how DBT can help you with anger.
The outlook is good if you learn to feel and express your anger in a way that you feel heard and does not damage the other person.