“I just feel so irritable all the time.”
I’ve heard that line so many times — from clients, from friends, and even whispered in supermarket car parks. Women across Ireland are typing it into Google late at night, wondering what’s wrong with them.
This kind of simmering irritability — being snappy, on edge, or having no patience left — is often brushed off as stress or seen as a personal failing. Many women feel guilty afterwards, thinking, “I should be able to handle things better.”
But here’s the truth: yes, life stress is real, but our emotional landscape is also shaped by something just as powerful — hormones. From the monthly ups and downs, to pregnancy and postnatal changes, to the rollercoaster of perimenopause and menopause, hormones have a huge impact on mood. Recognising that connection isn’t an excuse — it’s a way to treat yourself with compassion and find better ways forward.
The Hormonal Journey
A woman’s body moves through several phases that can all affect mood and irritability.
- PMS and PMDD. In the days before a period, oestrogen and progesterone drop sharply. For some, that means mood swings and irritability. For others, it’s more extreme — Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), where anger, rage, and low mood can take over.
- Postnatal period. After childbirth, hormones crash. Add in no sleep and the stress of caring for a baby, and it’s no wonder many new mothers feel snappy or even full of rage. It’s scary when that happens — shouting at a partner or feeling furious with the crying baby — but it’s often part of a postnatal mood disorder that can be treated.
- Perimenopause and menopause. This is the one most women tell me they were blindsided by. From your late 30s or 40s, oestrogen levels start to swing up and down, which affects serotonin and dopamine — the brain’s mood chemicals. Women describe out-of-the-blue flashes of rage or constant irritability that feel out of character. Anxiety often tags along too.
It’s Not “Just Hormones”
It’s important to say this: putting everything down to hormones is too simplistic. What really happens is that hormonal changes turn down your resilience. The small stresses you’d usually brush off — the noise, the chores, the demands — suddenly feel overwhelming.
And women in Ireland, like everywhere, carry a lot. Many work a full day and then come home to the “second shift” of housework and childcare. Many are caring for ageing parents on top of that. Hormones don’t create these pressures — but they make it harder to cope with them.
Mary’s Story
Mary, a 52-year-old office manager from Limerick, always saw herself as even-tempered. But lately, she found herself flying off the handle — shouting at her husband for leaving a coffee cup out, storming out of a work meeting to stop herself saying something she’d regret.
She started to fear she was “losing it.” But after reading about menopause, she began to wonder if her hormones were part of the picture. Her GP confirmed she was in perimenopause, and they discussed options, including HRT. Mary also began taking a daily walk at lunchtime and tried short mindfulness exercises in the morning.
The difference wasn’t instant, but over time she noticed the rage wasn’t as sharp, and when she did get annoyed, she could catch herself before it escalated. She still felt irritation — she’s human — but she felt back in control.
What Helps
Managing irritability linked to hormones means looking at the whole picture.
- Talk to your GP. Don’t brush it off. Ask about options like HRT for menopause or treatments for PMDD. The HSE website has good, reliable information too.
- Look after the basics. Stable blood sugar, daily movement, and as much decent sleep as you can manage make a huge difference.
- Calm the nervous system. Breathing exercises, yoga, or mindfulness help you spot the signs of rising anger before it spills out.
- Get support. A therapist can give you space to work through the emotional load and help you communicate what you need at home or at work.
If you find yourself irritable, snappy, or even full of rage, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It’s often your body telling you that you’re under pressure — biologically, emotionally, or both.
Hormones are powerful, but so is knowledge. By understanding the link, getting the right support, and treating yourself with compassion, you can navigate these changes and feel steady again.
You don’t have to just “put up with it.”