I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and I’m head over heels for him. He on the other hand recently told me that he knows in his head and his heart that he feels love for me but he isn’t able to tell me that he loves me.
He was in a relationship for 7 years where in the end his girlfriend cheated and broke it off and I guess he’s scared of getting hurt again. I thought that by giving him time he would eventually see that I was no threat.
I even wrote him a letter where I spilled my feelings and still nothing from him. In my head I already saw myself married with children to him and it’s eating me from the inside knowing that he’s just not that into our relationship.
I’ve met his whole family and I’m the second girl he’s introduced to his parents but I don’t know if it means that much. I’m lost and I’m unhappy but I love him and I just don’t see myself leaving him because he’s the best person I know! I feel like I’m drowning in my love for him with no one to save me.
I do everything to be the perfect girlfriend and so that he sees that I would be a good wife and mother. Any other guy would be lucky to have me but I want no one else but him. I desperately need advice on how to deal with this because it’s been driving me insane.
Whatever you do, don’t leave him 🙂 as from what you have said, he has as good as given you what you want; just not in the way you want it!
Lets look at the facts.
He has told you that in his head and heart he feels love for you, but has not spoken the words in the way we are accustomed to.
If he says he feels love for you, keep that firmly in the front of your mind. In my books, it is always better to know that someone loves you, rather than have someone saying it over and over, when the words may be empty.
We can say anything we want, but it doesn’t always match up with the actions. I could say I am a good person, but if you repeatedly saw me being mean to people, you could well think, that it is only words.
What are his actions and do they follow through with saying that he feels love?
To be honest, it sounds like they do. You are one of the only two people in his life that he has taken home to meet his parents, those are good actions and fit with him saying that he knows that he feels love.
It is not really that unusual for people to have difficulty in saying the words out loud. Many people take a long time, and some people can never say it, for whatever reason.
Which brings me to another point. I am guessing that in your head, you’ve gone to town on why you think that he is not saying it, and from your email, it sounds like you think he is not that interested in the relationship.
Again we have to stick with the facts. He took you home. He said he knows that he feels love.
I think you are doing what many of us do! When we don’t get things the way we expect them (the words I love you) we don’t see the evidence in front of us, rather we get stuck on ‘he never said it.’ and come up with our own reasons.
If I were you, I would try not to work harder, by showing him how great you are. If he is with you and says he feels love, then the way you are right this second, is just perfect for him!
I think you just need to get the thoughts out of your head in terms or how you think about his reasons for not uttering the words.
In order to do this, every time you find yourself thinking about it, just remind yourself that he took you home, and then try to focus on something else as opposed to adding fuel to the fire with your thoughts.